3 May 2020 – 4th Sunday of Easter
Acts 2:42-47; Psalm 23; 1 Peter 2:19-25;
John 10:1-10
“If we would judge ourselves, we would not
be judged”. So says St. Paul in his first
letter to the Corinthians. He was referring to our need for
self-examination before we may receive The Lord’s Supper. “For
all who eat and drink without discerning the body [that is, our
flesh], eat and drink judgment against themselves” (1
Corinthians 11:27-32).
In the Roman Catholic tradition it was taught to us
that before we could receive the Eucharist, we first had to go to
Confession. The Church taught that receiving the Eucharist while
knowingly in state of sin would not only render the Eucharist ineffective; it
would also invite condemnation as Paul wrote.
Confession was not just some perfunctory thing we did
for its own sake. It is as much a means
of grace as fasting, praying, and the study of Scripture. I have shared
with you before a Confession I did, maybe it was my first at around the age of
12, when I found myself struggling to remember which Commandments I had violated.
Finally the priest spoke: “You’re gonna have to learn to go deeper than that,
son”.
As a “means”, then, Confession may be compared to
Jesus’ encounter with the rich man who had asked what he must do to gain
eternal life. In his case, Jesus told
Him he should obey the Commandments, sell all he has, give it to the poor, and
then take up his cross and follow. We remember
the rich man walked away, having made his choice to keep his wealth – that is,
his old life which was weighing him down and preventing him from being able
to take up his own cross. In a manner of
speaking, the rich man’s spiritual hands were full; there was no room for
anything more.
And that is the heart of Confession – not just the
Roman Catholic practice but the discipline of self-examination we must learn to
practice faithfully; because it is not strictly about whether we have too much
money. It is about not taking so much
for granted. It is about carrying too
much of this world’s burdens that can prevent us from discerning the Voice of
the One who is leading us to Life.
Repentance is hard. Repentance is not without its
own pain; and if we somehow manage to make it painless, we have found for ourselves
“another way to enter the sheepfold”, the way of “thieves
and bandits”, as Jesus taught. Repentance may mean a whole new
circle of friends because repentance requires the death of our old self.
Repentance literally means “to turn away”, and this means we leave the life
that was once familiar and comfortable and safe because our honest self-examination
has revealed that our former life has been not at all a reflection of the
Messiah whom we claim to love and follow.
Repentance means the old way of doing and living are
out the window. This is necessarily what must happen if
we are to be “born again”; for we cannot be “born again”
into the same old life. This is perhaps
one of the biggest lies perpetrated by the Church.
And this is part of what makes self-examination so
challenging. When we measure our lives against what Jesus teaches, we
come up woefully short. But rather than accept the challenge laid out for
us by growing in faith and in love, by trusting The Lord to take the lead and
following His example, we settle for a cheap version of “grace” so we can justify
ourselves, keep all we have, and call ourselves “saved”.
This kind of grace, however, does not come by
the Father’s Hand; it is an excuse we’ve learned to settle for. It
is the kind of grace we bestow only on ourselves, not on others. That is,
we don’t have to change a thing. We can
continue to hate and slander those we always hated. We can continue to curse and demonize those
with whom we disagree. We can continue as
before because we have convinced ourselves we don’t have to do
anything. It is a “feel-good”, painless
grace that acknowledges our status as sinners but excuses us from our need to
partner with Messiah, take His hand, and overcome that sinful state.
To repent, however, is much more than simply “turning
away” from something; it is turning toward something greater,
something better, something far more fulfilling than anything we can find on
our own. Jesus’ discourse in John’s Gospel (10:1-10) goes much deeper
than to simply call Him “Lord”, call ourselves “saved”, ignore the Written
Word, and then expect to be able to discern His Voice.
The “thieves and bandits” factor into
this discourse at such a level that they cannot be discounted. Jesus seems to infer that “those
who came before Him” had a significant following; significant
enough for Jesus not only to teach but to warn others about which way to
“turn”. It may also be that rather than only
referring to those who came before Him chronologically, Jesus may also
be referring to that which we place before Him in our lives even now.
Self-examination is about much more than measuring our
conduct against any particular Commandment; it is about measuring not only our
conduct toward others but also against whom we have been following and what (or
whom) we once worshipped. Self-examination is about much more than mere
“confession”; saying we’re sorry yet going right back to it. It is about discerning the paths we have
chosen and whether the one leading us is willing to give his or her life for the
Gospel’s sake – or is simply taking life for his or her own sake.
The cost of honest self-examination is our old life,
and that is the entire point of the Resurrection. It teaches us to discern between those who
take life and the One who gives it. Jesus did not make such discernment
easy for those who were hearing Him speak, so we must not convince ourselves
discipleship and discernment are ever easy. This is because, although “Christ
suffered for us”, He nevertheless left us “an example so that we
should follow in His steps”, as St. Peter wrote (1
Peter2:21).
These are made much more difficult because of the very
fact that neither discipleship nor discernment are impulsive acts. It
could very well be that our impulses, which are geared toward self-satisfaction
and self-survival, may also, in a manner of speaking, be the “thieves and
bandits” Jesus is warning us about. So when we act – or react –
impulsively, we are not giving serious thought to which way we are headed; we
are only doing what we may instinctively think is right for ourselves. As
it is written in the Proverbs, “there is a way that seems
right, but it is the way of death” (Proverbs 14:12; 16:25).
Yet Life is before us.
Jesus says “Whoever enters by Me will be saved; and will come in and
go out and find pasture. The thief comes
only to kill and destroy. I came that
they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:9-10).
Honest self-examination is hard, but the Scripture
teaches us we can do no less than to first be honest with ourselves. Only then can we be honest with our Shepherd. And maybe then, with His help, we can finally
learn how to really listen, how to really live as we are meant to live. To His Glory and no other. Amen.
