Monday, July 30, 2007

Floating on Faith in the Sea of Doubt

It all began when Marcus Borg’s Reading the Bible Again for the First Time became assigned reading for a theology class on pastoral interpretation of the Bible. Though the school administrator was less than enthusiastic about the text choice, he nevertheless supported the instructor’s choice but warned us students that we were about to face material and thoughts that we had not encountered before (incidentally, Marcus Borg is considered a “heretic” in certain circles) and that had the potential to upset some. What can I say? That warning alone was reason enough to buy the book; taking the class was just icing on the cake!

Up to the point of reading the book, I had always been pretty comfortable in the tenets of my faith. I had been taught since childhood that the stories of the Bible are what they are, are true, and are not open to question. This is how it seems to go with early childhood religious education. Young children are not capable of “high-minded” theology nor do they have the capacity to think critically, so “Jesus loves me, this I know...” is about all the serious Bible study young children need to have. The more I think about it, however, the more I wonder how critical or high-minded any of us needs to be because the thoughts and ideas presented not only in this particular text but also in subsequent readings has the potential to lend itself to severe doubts so much so that EVERYTHING is called into question. EVERYTHING.

Even though such critical thoughts that question fond Bible lessons and our traditional teachings are summarily dismissed by staunch conservatives and fundamentalists, it is a grave disservice to disciples that such critique is out there and not seriously confronted or addressed. Blaming “those damn liberals” is not enough to cause a reasonable, thinking person to reject a concept only at the word of another. Maybe it is that we Christians take ourselves far too seriously to be taken seriously by non-believers.

It occurred to me after a recent discussion with a friend that each of us has the potential to be completely afraid to confront our own faith. Now how can this possibly be if our faith is ingrained in our very souls, the total sum of our spiritual existence? How can we have the kind of abiding faith we believe ourselves to have and still feel threatened by heretical thought (remember, heresy is not necessarily bad; only by definition: different)? My friend warned me that there is material we ought not to be reading because of the potential threat to faith, exposing us to ideas that are contrary to what we ought to embrace. Again, how can this be if our faith is genuine? How can the thoughts and ideas of mere mortals be a threat to that which can only be divinely imparted to us?

John Wesley, the recognized founder of the Methodist movement in England, suffered doubts for much of his professional life. During a particularly troublesome time during a storm aboard a ship bound for America, Wesley noticed the Moravians on deck singing hymns and continuing with their work while Wesley was huddled below deck with others and praying for safety in the storm. The display of faith by the Moravians had a profound impact on Wesley so much so that he sought guidance and counsel from Peter Bohler, a Moravian leader, upon his return to England. Wesley was encouraged to “preach faith until you have it; then you will preach faith because you have it.”

Wesley did finally find his inner peace with his Aldersgate experience, so maybe there is such a thing as working to convince oneself of a certain truth until one is finally convinced. Still, it almost seems as though Wesley had to somehow manipulate himself into believing what he thought he ought to believe until his “heart was strangely warmed” at Aldersgate. Speculating on precisely what Wesley actually encountered, however, is no more fair or just than judging someone based only on physical appearance. We have no idea about what Wesley encountered except by his written accounts. For the purpose of choosing a path, this should be good enough … for now.

It can be dangerous to defend a particular doctrine, for instance, without fully understanding its historical context. There are few, if any, contemporary doctrines that cannot be traced back to the Reformation and even earlier, but to buy into a particular doctrine or thought discipline merely because someone has promised damnation if you don’t is not faith at all; it is fear of uncertainty, and it serves no useful purpose. The only kind of faith that can be formed under such circumstances is the fleeting kind of faith that will fail at the first sign of trouble.

There is an Aldersgate experience in store for any who earnestly seek, but the search must be for something grander than self. It seems that Wesley was enabled to receive such a heart-warming experience because even though he did write of concerns for the state of his soul, he dedicated himself to the cause of social justice. Though he was as fallible as any mortal can be, he nevertheless seemed to understand that his own place in the realm of the Holy was secondary.

Faith can be a scary thing because there will always on some level be doubts, but we need not fear these doubts nor should we be afraid to explore thoughts and ideas that are foreign to us. For instance, it should be of no great concern for a Christian to read from the Koran or the Book of Mormon. The truth is that we cannot hope to earn the respect of those with whom we would disagree if we cannot, or will not, meet them where they are. Reading such material can cause those who are weak in the faith to stumble; for these, it is dangerous. But if we are afraid to confront and challenge our own faith when we are not seriously threatened, our faith will fall like the house built on sand in the midst of a storm when the threat is more substantial. Like physical exercise for muscles, faith must be allowed to stretch its own legs. It is ok to take faith out for a spin to see what it is actually capable of.

Challenges to our faith and the doubts that will certainly come are nothing to fear. It is within the questions we will soon be compelled to ask that a holy conversation can begin. It is during this conversation when the Lord Himself will determine whether and when we are able and willing to receive that most divine gift of all: faith. Then, and only then, will it become the kind of unshakable, abiding faith that will carry us through the worst of times. It is the kind of faith that, in spite of trouble, will enable us to express our gratitude for the experience. It is the kind of faith from whence life is truly begun, the kind of life that is without end.

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