Them's My Young-un's!

I'm 'bout happy's a pig in slop. Our young-un's kin git hitched - long's they gits purmishun from they maw and paw. An' soons I git a tar on mah truck and hitch up mah overalls, I'ma gonna go yonder to the state house and thank them thar state house fokes fer givin' me purmishun to raise mah own young-un's the way I sees fit.

I ain't never saw no sucha mess as the one fixin' to happen down yonder to Lil' Rock. Dun awready bin a mess over yonder at Binton County whar th' judge dun tol' a gurl's maw thet her young-un cud git hitched if'n she wonted to 'cause the fokes in Lil' Rock dun messed in they own cer'al. See, whut's funny 'bout all this is they's 'posed to be a buncha edge-ee-kaited ol' boys down to th' state house but near's ah'cn figger, they kain't spell 'not'. Or mebee it is thet they kin spell 'not' jes' fine but just ain't shur whut t' do withit onest they dun spelt it.

Whut ain't so funny is that they's this buncha fokes called a "cumit-ee" thet's 'pos'd t' fix what sum dun said is a mis-take in the language. But this heer judge dun said, 'naw, it ain't thet easy'. Says if they's a wurd stuck in thar, then its 'pos'd to be thar. If'n you wus ta take that wurd out, then it don't mean the same thang no more. Them politishuns, the judge dun said, shulda took care a that 'fore they dun signed they names to it 'cuz thet thar cumit-ee ain't bin voted fir. This cumit-ee has they job t' do, and the politishuns gots they own job t' do. Sump'n 'bout the state cons'tooshun.

Makes plenty since t' me 'cuz if'n I say 'ain't' and you-uns ain't heer'd me say 'ain't', then you-un's might thank I dun said, 'ok'. If'n I say 'ain't', I means it 'cuz I ain't gonna say nuthin' I ain't meant t' say. Reckon them politishuns shulda dun know'd thet? Most of 'em dun been t' law skool. Ain't thet why they's so miny foks dun voted fir 'em t' bugin with, 'cause they's so et up w' the learnin'? I'da thunk so.

Now thu guv'nir says he ain't agonna brang the state 'sembly in so's they kin fix it. I ain't shur whut ain't fix't, but I'm purty shur whut ain't needin' t' be dun. We-un's don't need them edge-ee-kaited geen-us's atellin' us how t' raise young-un's or whut they kin or kain't do. I figger this nu law dun give us what we-un's needed t' bugin with: permishun t' duh-cide whut we-un's thank is best for are young-un's. We's the ones gotta live withit, ain't we?

Shoot. Who sez we's back-ards?