Reconciliation: Imagine the Possibilities

Genesis 18:16-33
1 Peter 2:4-17
Matthew 6:5-15


Have you ever considered the very real possibility that your pastor may be “demon possessed”? It could be true. I don’t know about other fellow pastors but in my case, there are some issues that still often cloud my judgment and cause me to do or be or act or speak or even think in a manner that is not consistent with the life of a disciple of Christ. I mean well but I can see and feel these demons that are within me. I sense that I have the power to at least suppress these demons, but a total defeat and eradication is going to require something far more substantial, something that will transcend my will to let it go. Until I reach that point when I can turn it loose, however, I will have no real sense of peace because the struggle will continue to eat at me from within, taking a tiny piece of my soul with each bite.

I suspect that my demons are probably some of the very same demons many have done battle with in the past to one degree or another and may be entangled with in conflict even now. These are the demons of bitterness that continually draw us backward in time to a place where we feel we had been cheated or wronged in some way, real or imagined. These places are where we got hurt, for instance, by people we trusted but who ultimately betrayed our trust. Whenever I allow myself to dwell on these “demons” I sometimes become so angry that my mind ceases to think rationally, and these fantasies begin playing in my mind in which the tables are turned and I’m in a position of authority and power from which I can do real harm to those who harmed me. All too often, the demons win as I virtually bury my “enemies” in their own sorrow and misery.

This is not a place where Christians belong yet I know that I am not alone. Failure to understand the destructive nature of such bitterness and what it can bring and how easily and quickly it can grow as it festers like an open wound is a failure to recognize our own limitations and our genuine need for healing. In my own case, I recognize that if I do not repent of it and work harder at suppressing these demons and these irrational fits of anger, I will soon be judged by my chosen allegiance to them and the harm they can do.

Now it is easy to say that we should simply turn these things over to the Lord and He will make it all go away, but I don’t know that it is that simple. This is not to diminish the power of the Almighty; rather, it is a statement acknowledging the free will of man. Regardless of such situations and how they came to be, we still have choices to make and ultimately it comes down to this: we can live in reconciliation and peace of mind or we can die with the demons that seek to destroy us.

This does not mean that we can easily forget what happened, but I want you to consider this. I am a man blessed beyond measure in spite of my failure to be the kind of godly man I set out to be. I lost my secular job in January from a company I had faithfully served for 15 years. When I was given a small severance and unceremoniously dumped, my heart was broken and I also suffered a certain identity crisis.

Long story made short, look at where I am now. I still have my family, I am still in reasonably good health, and I am now in the privileged position of serving as a pastor and enjoying getting to my congregation. Is this the life of a man who has been forever cursed? Yet if I so choose, I can stay in the past where my heart and my spirit had been broken and where I will eat myself alive in bitterness and anger over something I perceived – but still cannot change - and where I will NEVER know what really happened. Either way, my new charge is nowhere to be found in my past.

I know that there have been “issues” in the past at just about every church I’ve been affiliated with, and I am also aware that there are still residual hurt feelings and suspicions as a result of these “issues” that still affect how some feel about and relate to others. I know that many are dismayed that choose to leave a fellowship and go somewhere else. I hate it as well, but I also recognize that even within the Body of Christ there is a certain dynamic that mandates change. It does not always seem good, but it’s not always bad! Even if we think we have somehow been weakened by what has happened in the past, the weakness of man can still be the manifest strength of the Lord God – that is, IF we are willing to do something.

And that is: FORGIVE so that we may be FORGIVEN as it is written. Now some might suggest that we forgive and “forget”, but I submit to you that “forgetting” amounts to little more than a vain effort to suppress. Like my demons which continually come back to haunt me, I have yet to make peace with the thing that still eats at me so this suppressed demon I’ve tried to “forget” will not allow it to happen because a necessary element is still missing and I am still at the mercy of sudden and/or unexpected recall. As we all know, it does not take much to trigger a memory.

Yet when I take the intentional action to forgive, I have done something more than simply sweep the problem under the rug. I have made a step FORWARD into this incredible dynamic known as RECONCILIATION that is the essence of Christ’s Holy Church, and I have dealt with the issue and put it where it belongs. Now it is not simply swept away – it is PUT away, and I can finally have some peace!

Jesus is not ambiguous about this because it is central to everything we are about as disciples, and it is the very lifeblood of any church. Can we share Holy Communion with a clear conscience? Can we eat the bread and drink of the cup of salvation if we still hold some grudge against our neighbor, real or imagined?

I will only tell you in this regard that we must each allow our own consciences to be our guides and participate as we see fit within the context of Paul’s admonition to the Corinthians to "eat and drink to your own judgment" (1 Corinthians 11). I will also tell you that if we don’t finally and completely put these demons away from us and send them back where they belong, we will continue to fight the same, tired, old battles that have wrought nothing but depression, anger, division, and general misery. These are NOT the fruits of the Spirit of the Lord God!

However, send these demons back to hell where they belong and I promise you days ahead filled with Spirit-fruit that will give new life to a bunch of tired ol’ bodies begging to be spiritually nourished, and we will be renewed and refreshed just as in the day in which we proclaimed and professed Christ the Lord as Son of the Living God and Savior of the world!! O my dear friends, can LIFE ITSELF be any less?? I say “NO” because anything less is but a slow, painful, agonizing death if only from within.

Whatever it is that is holding us back from making peace with one another, we are compelled by the Lord Himself to GET RID OF IT!! “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose LIFE, that both you AND YOUR DESCENDENTS may live, that you may love the Lord you God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may CLING TO HIM, for He is your life and the length of your days…” Deuteronomy 30:19-20