Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak

26 January 2020

Exodus 15:22-27; James 1:19-27; Matthew 7:24-29

Rev. Mark Norman, the district superintendent for the Southeast District in Arkansas, recently shared a thing on his FB page: “The most common greeting in the Zulu tribe is ‘Sawubona’.  It literally means ‘I see you, you are important to me, and I value you’.”  It is more than a general greeting that acknowledges the presence of another.

The spirit of ‘Sawubona’ goes beyond simple acknowledgement.  It addresses what I think is the most fundamental need we all share, regardless of race or gender, rich or poor, liberal or conservative; to be acknowledged as human beings with feelings, with needs, with fears, with hopes and dreams.  The heart of ‘Sawubona’ acknowledges more than presence; it sees the person – one who is also created in the Divine Image.

There was a time when I could recall names easily.  I don’t remember that I did anything special to remember the name.  Now I often struggle to remember names of persons I’m not in regular contact with.  Though we might write it off as a problem of aging, I wonder if I hear and then readily dismiss a name subconsciously because I failed to acknowledge the person; I only note the presence. 

Something that hits a little closer to home – and the point I hope to make – is interaction at Annual Conference.  Last year a young lady approached me with a pamphlet.  Before she reached me, however, I had already written her off.  Why?  Because she was wearing one of those rainbow stoles.  I do not remember the pamphlet she offered me, and I don’t remember what she looked like.  I certainly don’t remember her name, though I do recall her introducing herself. 

My judgment of this person was clouded by an “issue” I was sure she would try to sell.  It’s happened before with others.  As a result, I diminished her as a person.  Writing off her stole as a purely political statement, I was not the least bit interested in engaging in a debate about what I believe and justifying to her why I believe it. 

A like-minded friend had suggested maybe she and others should not be wearing those stoles because they cause others to jump to certain conclusions – but do they?  Is the inanimate piece of cloth the cause of my adverse reaction?  Or is there something deeper within myself that needs some work?

It occurs to me this “issue” that seems to be at the heart of the division within so many denominations is much more complex than we might think.  The complexity is not because the Scripture is vague; it isn’t.  Rather, the complexity is due to the fact that this issue involves persons.  So our issue – our collective issue, regardless of what we believe – is persons. 

In his Letter from a Birmingham Jail, Dr. King made the case that the issue of racial justice was not strictly a matter of laws on the books.  Rather, due to selective enforcement, it was the diminishing of an entire race of people only because of the color of their skin.  In that culture and in that time, they were “less than”.

I see the parallel with this issue and our predetermined agendas approaching General and Annual Conference.  We think we have to deal with an issue (both sides are guilty), but we do not – cannot, will not - get past the issue because we reject the spirit and the heart of ‘Sawubona’ - I see you, you are important to me, and I value you.  We do not see the person, and we do not value the person.  Because personhood is distorted by an issue, those with whom we disagree become “less than”.

In our Wesleyan Methodist tradition, “holy conferencing” is considered to be among the many means of grace we must engage and practice consistently.  These “holy conferences” are not only our formal Conferences in which forms are submitted and reports are made.  Holy conferencing also includes small group gatherings, Bible study groups, and visitations; “safe spaces”, for lack of a better term, because everyone should feel safe and free to share their thoughts without being attacked – as long as they are not attacking or diminishing the thoughts of others. 

What makes them modes of “holy conferencing” is not only giving everyone a chance to express what’s on their minds but, perhaps more importantly, listening carefully to what is being said.  Sadly, this is the component of “holy conferencing” which has been largely missing.  And because this component is missing, we are all the poorer for it. 

There is nothing “holy” going on when we diminish persons because an issue has become more important.  In “holy conferencing”, we must always be seeking to “produce God’s righteousness” (James 1:20), not win arguments.

It is written in the Proverbs (16:20); “Those who are attentive to a matter will prosper, and happy are those who trust in The Lord”.  We should probably take note that the Teacher does not say, “Those who win arguments will prosper”.  No, the Teacher places the burden of “holy conferencing” (respectful conversation) upon all who are “attentive to a matter”.  This means listening as carefully as we should speak. 

Some have asked a valid question: Are we required to hear what we perceive to be an unbiblical point of view?  “Happy are those who trust in The Lord”, the Teacher wrote.  So if we “trust in The Lord”, what are we afraid of when hearing a point of view that does not align with our own?  Our fear, our genuine fear, should be that of diminishing the sacred value of the person whose opinion goes against everything we believe – because it is still not about an issue.

It has been said the Gospel is less about how to get into the Kingdom of Heaven after we die, and more about how to live in the Kingdom of Heaven before we die.  Before such a statement can begin to make sense, we have to learn to “Listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches”, as our Lord said more than once in The Revelation.   

It may also be said The Lord speaks to His people through the most unlikely sources, perhaps sometimes from the very persons whose words make our blood boil!  Maybe we’re being “tested” as Israel was being tested in the wilderness.  If we are really being tested, it becomes all the more important for us to remember that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12).  So if our struggle is not against flesh and blood (that is, persons), perhaps we need to revisit our issues and how we approach one another.

For the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, the burden is on us to try always to remember our issue is not with persons.  It is to remember, as it is written, that “one does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Deuteronomy 8:3).  The Word which came from the Mouth of The Lord’s Anointed One, thus, is “Love one another as I have loved you”.

It is much more important that we learn to listen - in the spirit of Sawubona - and be slow to speak.  Our UMC and our nation are hopelessly divided because everyone is diminished in the eyes of others, and we have all been reduced to mere “issues”.  More importantly, because we tend to diminish the “other”, no one is listening to “what the Spirit is saying to the Church”. 

And yet, throughout the noise of all the issues, our Lord calls to us; “Listen!  I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear My voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with Me” (Revelation 3:20).  Are we listening?  Are we really listening?  May it be so, Lord.  Amen.