Love Is Selfless

Acts 3:1-10

Matthew 12:9-14

Jesus is drawing a clear line of distinction between what we think we are obligated to do, and what we are truly privileged to do.  He may even be trying to define for us the difference between what we might be tempted to call "work", and what simple daily living requires of us.  As it pertains to the Sabbath and acceptable practices of the day, there are earnest efforts to keep the faithful from running in too many different directions because according to what is written, the Lord claimed the Sabbath as His very own.  The Sabbath is when the faithful are called to put aside their differences and come together for the Lord.  Jesus does not challenge this, but He does challenge what Sabbath had become to the Lord's people: a burden rather than the gift it truly is.

Worship of the Lord, presenting ourselves to the Lord, giving of ourselves to the Lord in our time, our prayers, hymns of praise, and offerings, and giving freely of ourselves to our fellow Christians in worship and Bible study are all part of the package.  Jesus never excuses us from our duty to gather for worship of the Holy God (indeed why would the Son of God "excuse" us from worship?) - but - He is re-energizing the better component of the Sabbath in what a privilege it is for us to gather together in worship.  But when we allow such a Holy Day to become so burdensome or a gathering so self-oriented, we are attempting to change the terms of the Covenant.  The Covenant is no longer about the Lord; the Covenant is no longer even mutual.  It is only about "what's in it for me".  This is commonly referred to as "hedonism".

The same thing can be said of the marriage covenant when things begin to break down, when the shine is no longer on the apple, when the daily grind of reality begins to replace the "honeymoon"; you know, when we stop locking the bathroom door and remove that last vestige of "mystery"!  We stop worrying so much about our spouses and begin to think more about ourselves and what makes us happy.  We are more worried about what our golf buddies or other sports tournament partners and parents think of us than what our spouses or our God think of us.  What we DO NOT often appreciate or recognize in this dynamic shift is that the deterioration of the relationship at this point has already begun.  If this "break-down" is not confronted and respected for its destructive potential, disaster is never far behind.

In his 1943 “Wedding Sermon from a Prison Cell”, Dietrich Bonheoffer offered these words of encouragement to the young couple for whom he wrote the address: “It is a sign of social disintegration when the wife’s service [to her husband] is felt to be degrading or beneath her dignity [as a person], and when the husband who is faithful to his wife is looked on as a weakling or even a fool.”   Sad to say, I think that ship has long sailed.

The same must be said of the relationship between the faithful who constitute the Church (which is the Bride) and Christ (who is the Bridegroom).  There is a level of disintegration evident in such a break-down when we are more concerned about what society thinks of us than what our Lord thinks of us.  That is, being more concerned with being “socially correct” than in being “righteous”.  The Covenant is thus in jeopardy.

"If you want to change the world, don't just give - invest." Heifer International

Challenge #3 in the Love Dare© takes us yet one more step away from self and more directly toward our God, our spouses and, yes, our community.  Let us be frank.  Every small town church has had its challenges in the past as many churches have, and the community is fully aware of these challenges mostly by way of gossip.  Whether the gossip (then AND now) is entirely true or not, that relationship between the church and the community has been damaged, so it is incumbent upon the church - the believing Body of Christ - to take decisive, deliberate steps to restore that relationship. 

It is not about being all things to all people or giving everyone their heart's desires – which is just not possible OR practical.  It’s not about trying to be “popular”, and it is not about allowing the church to be "used" and then tossed aside once used up.  It is entirely about acting within the integrity of the Holy Covenant to be precisely what the Lord has called this church forth to be and not what society or any individual wants the Church to be.  This is exactly how the Love Dare© pertains to the Church as a Body in her relationship to the Lord because we are NOT a “community organization”; we are the Body of Christ! 

Week 1 had to do with what we must "not do"; that is, "patiently endure" reality, stay quiet if we cannot say something nice, and don't respond impulsively.  Week 2 challenged us to "do", to offer an "unexpected gesture" of kindness not only toward our holy God and our spouses but toward others in our community to prove there is indeed life on this planet and especially in the Church.  Now Week 3 takes a more aggressive step and challenges more from us than merely "doing" a nice thing ... like at least CLOSING the bathroom door!  Week 3 requires that we "give" something.

Within the community of faith, St. Paul encourages the Romans to "give preference to one another" (12:10).  Week 3, then, asks us to look at what we might "give" to ourselves (that new fly reel or CD), and challenges us to "give" instead (not in addition to!) that same material consideration to another.  The Love Dare©, as I've pointed out, is specifically geared toward strengthening and, when necessary, restoring married relationships; but I think we can consider that in real life - especially for those of us who do not have spouses – none among the faithful can be excused from this certain challenge.  And "challenge" it is because we have been enculturated and indoctrinated to "go for it" as it pertains to our own desires and what makes us happy.  Even some segments within the Church universal have been guilty of actually helping the faithful blur the line of distinction between divine "blessing" and mindless "consumerism".  And this is what challenges us to move outside of our normal thought processes and helps us to deliberately learn to be more Christ-like in all our relationships.

It is also important to remember that in "giving" to our God, our spouses, and our community, we must be mindful of what is actually ours to give.  The "gift" must come from within - NOT from what is left over.  I'll grant you not many among us have much in the line of "left-overs" as it pertains to our resources, but this is also the point of what it means to give from within.  A genuine gift given from within requires sacrifice; that is, we do without to ensure that others have.  This, I think, is what St. Paul intended when he challenged the Romans to "give preference to one another".  To "give preference" means that we would see to the needs of others before we would mindlessly feed our own desires.  This type of giving, of course, is perfected in and by Christ Himself who preferred that "this cup be taken from Me" but seemed to understand that what was required of Him demanded that He put "self" aside for something much greater.

Within this entire context, we must remember the Bible and the Love Dare© both emphasize "covenant".  With the Lord it is the Eternal Covenant, the terms of which have been spelled out by our God and Father.  With our spouses it is the marriage covenant the terms of which, incidentally, are also spelled out in the Bible and within the Eternal Covenant.  We are protecting and defending those covenants because we understand each supports the other.

Still, we cannot always be sure that what we give will be appreciated for what it is.  It could be that we have been "doing" and "giving" for so long BUT with an ulterior motive that those who would receive our gift might suspect less-than-holy purposes.  But we are also reminded that "doing" and "giving" has nothing to do with what the other persons may or may not do.  Rather the "doing" and the "giving" are our efforts to correct and reform ourselves, getting back to doing what we really should have been doing all along but somehow lost our way.

There is only one "Way" to the Holy Father, and that "Way" is Christ our Lord; but we must remember, too, that even Jesus referred to the "Way" as bigger than even Himself.  It is the Covenant.  It is always the Covenant - with the Lord, the covenant we entered into with the Holy Church when we took our membership vows, and the covenant we entered into with our spouses before the Lord.  The common denominator in all these Promises is the Lord - because the Lord is the foundation.  The Lord is Life itself.  So let us choose to live and live well.  For our Lord ... and for one another.