1 John 4:7-21
John 15:1-8
Though there will likely not be any Academy Award nominations
forthcoming, the movie "Fireproof" is about as powerful and as
inspirational as they come.
The movie focuses on a young couple having marital problems,
problems so profound and so long ignored that at the beginning of the movie
there is virtually no "marriage" at all - and divorce is
imminent. The husband has real anger issues, inappropriate addictions, and
misplaced priorities all of which cause him to focus inwardly. The ironic
thing is that the husband is a firefighter who gives selflessly, heroically on
the job. What he gives at home is an entirely different matter. At
home he "takes" and he "expects". He enters his home
with a sense of entitlement, and in this mindset his wife has been relegated to
second-class status as only incidental to the husband’s expectations and
personal desires. For the paycheck, he "gives" fully of himself
even at great risk to his personal safety. For the home and for the sake
of his marriage, he "gives" nothing and he "gets" nothing
except a lot of heartache and frustration.
His father is aware of the marital problems, so he offers to
pass on to his son the very thing that saved - and continues to preserve - his
own marriage called the Love Dare©. It is a Christ-centered, Bible-based
study that helps participants to define AND appropriate
"love" in their lives. The book itself is only a tool that
complements the Bible, but if done properly it will become the heaviest and
perhaps most dangerous tool in the box because it demands the reader's full
attention, respect, and commitment; and as the father pointed out to his son,
it guarantees absolutely nothing - from the "other" person since its
focus is not on one’s expectation
of "others". In fact, the "other" person is
incidental to the Love Dare© itself, regardless of who that “other” person may
be. Reconciliation with the "other" person is the ultimate goal
- in this case, one's spouse - but the Love Dare© does not consider how or even
whether the "other" person will respond. It is primarily about
"fixing" oneself and learning to “love” unconditionally so one may
learn to appreciate "love" for its own sake.
That very idea is such a foreign concept to our culture that
even as so many have watched the movie and exalted its virtuous message, it is
clearly evident that in the end "it was only a movie", not applicable
or practical to “my” situation. This is because our culture has so
perverted the essence of the word “love” itself that it has no meaning and only
conditional value.
Through the Church’s carelessness, "love" has been
robbed of its legitimate power – because we fail to understand and respect that
power and the context in which we
use the word. In the end we toss the word about so casually that we
become so used to the word it no longer has any impact – a lot like what we
have done with the Holy Name itself! And because we are so casual with
the word, it has no meaning except toward how we happen to feel at a particular
time toward a particular thing or a particular person – conditionally, of
course, on whether that thing or person is useful to us.
The Greek offers to us four different kinds of what we have
generalized as "love" in the New Testament, but each time the Greek
words are expressed - regardless of the context - they are translated in
English to simply "love". The English translations themselves
have in many cases virtually robbed the word of its genuine and transformative
power! The King James Version makes some references to
"charity" in place of "love" such as in 1 Corinthians 13, but even
“charity” has lost its truest meaning because we do not understand the biblical
context in what it means in flowing FROM the Lord as “agape”, or “sacrificial,
unconditional love”.
This is not, however, about learning to speak or read
Greek. This is about understanding and embracing the fullest and richest
context of the biblical use of the word "love" and how it translates
in our lives and in the witness of the Church. This is so that when 1 John makes a general statement that "God is love",
we can more fully understand what the writer means when he broadens the
context: "as [the
Lord] is [love], so are we [to love] in this world"; that is,
those who are truly transformed. But before we can “be” the kind of love
the Lord is, we have to actually know what “love” really means – in AND outside
the marital covenant. The Love Dare© attempts to illustrate not only how
to understand the word but how to biblically appropriate and express
"love" in our lives. It may even challenge us to choose our use
of the word more carefully.
It is unfortunate that "love" is no longer 'church
language' as is 'sanctify' or 'justify' or 'salvation' or 'grace', but the only
reason this is true is because the Church has allowed its language to be
misappropriated by its own carelessness by using "love" as an
"excuse", like "grace". In other words, we cannot live "love" because we do not understand "love". And even as we
might be able to truthfully state that “God loves me”, we fail to understand
that this kind of abiding love must necessarily be outwardly expressed not by
what we say but by what we do – even for those who have hurt us –
just as Jesus teaches!
Nowhere is this truer than in the cases of some churches and
pastors using "physical intimacy" - within the context of marriage,
of course - as a "tool" to help solidify and strengthen marriages.
And they're making a big splash - and big headlines! - about it and publicizing
it and publishing books about it. All the while, they continue to buy
into and perpetuate the world's biggest lie about what "love" is
truly all about – and its origin! Now I am not naive nor am I a
"babe in the woods", and I will not try to tell you this is not a big
issue in the marital relationship because it is! But if this one thing is
THE thing holding the marriage together, that marriage - I dare say - is
doomed. DOOMED. It is not a matter of “if” that marriage will fail
… but “when”.
That "behind closed doors" challenge (where,
incidentally, it should stay!) is strictly defined according to one's physical
capacity and it comes dangerously close to suggesting that if "this"
does not sustain or strengthen your marriage, nothing will. My dear
friends, "this" has nothing to do with "love".
Nothing. Except, of course, in the "eros" context - that
"erotic love" which will "give" only as much as it expects
to "gain". This, of course, is not "love"; it is
"lust". At the very least, it is "infatuation" which
will inevitably fade with time. It will not last
beyond the "newness" or the "novelty" unless or until
"true love" is embraced - "love" for its own sake; not for
what we might expect.
The Love Dare© is focused primarily on the marital relationship,
but it is useful outside that context because of its entire focus on
“selflessness” and reconciling oneself to the Lord first; learning to live for
the Lord FIRST, learning to love the Lord FIRST – just as it is written.
It is designed not only for marriages in distress but also for those couples
who will dare to DEFY the world's generalizations and expectations - and choose
to glorify our Lord in their relationship to one another; because it is the
marriage covenant and
relationship that best exemplifies that relationship between the Bridegroom who
is Christ, and the Bride who is the Holy Church. It would also be very
useful for engaged couples to explore before they enter into the marital
covenant so that they can know what really matters. In fact, I may make
it required reading before I will agree to marry another couple!
We must not worry about trying to go back and "unring"
any bells, to vainly try to undo mistakes we’ve made in the past. The
past is passed; there is nothing useful about going backward where the anger
and the hurt feelings are still fresh. The Journey begins today.
Today is literally the first day of the rest of this church's life, and we must
resolve to celebrate Renewed Life – or prepare for the
wake!
The Love Dare© is a 40-day challenge - not unlike the 40 days
Jesus endured in the wilderness to prepare Himself for His ministry.
However, I submit to you that because of the importance of this challenge and
all it entails, we will address each principle for the next 40 weeks as we will
all be challenged to live that principle for an entire week - in AND outside
the home. For the sake of the Lord and His Holy Church, we must work
diligently as a church to restore broken
relationships, work tirelessly to mend relationships that stand on the edge of
disaster, and work faithfully to strengthen existing relationships that will -
and must - serve the Lord and His Church well and
faithfully.
It is time to RECLAIM and RECALIBRATE and RESTORE Godly love in
our lives because our Lord who "is
Love" has declared
to us, "apart from Me
you can do nothing". And this is true because as the Lord says "apart
from Me you can do nothing”, He also says, “[apart from Me] you
are [only] the dust to which you will return." We are ALIVE
in the Spirit – OR – we are already DEAD in the flesh - so I propose this
church “choose Life, that [we] (and this church!) may live”
beyond our own time … eternally from this moment.
Let
today be the Day of Departure from excuses for failure or selfishness.
Let today be the beginning of renewed commitments to sanctification, that state
of spiritual perfection IN THE LORD. Let today be the first day of the
renewed strength of Christ’s Holy Church … at Asbury, in our homes, and in our
lives. We will rise up together – OR – be destroyed individually.
It is time for genuine Transformation. It is time for Revival that will
only come if we resolve to learn to “love the Lord our God with all our
heart, all our soul, and all our might” (Deuteronomy 6:5).
It
begins – or ends - today. In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy
Spirit. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment