John 6:56-69
As we have continued to explore the
perspective of the Love Dare© challenge that focuses primarily on married
relationships, I continue to be amazed at the remarkable parallel of the
marriage covenant between a man and a woman - and the covenant between Christ
the Bridegroom and the Holy Church the Bride as well as the Covenant between
Israel and the Holy Father. We say it at
the beginning of a wedding ceremony, but I don't think we give near enough
attention in our day-to-day living to that parallel and what it means to us
today - or what it should mean to us especially in a highly secularized culture
such as ours that claims more "spiritual" - "emotional" - Christians
and fewer intentional disciples who follow Christ with purpose, with focus, and
with a willingness to work on protecting and maintaining the covenantal
relationship - preferring instead for things to simply fall into place.
Too many of these relationships have
defaulted to an "auto pilot" setting that just goes with the flow,
assumes too much, and often glosses over or ignores outright a potential
problem and simply "hopes for the best" - until it is too late. Spiritual, emotional Christians - typically
among the younger set within the so-called "New Age" religion context
- who seem to depend predominantly on whatever they happen to be
"feeling" at any given time find themselves too often depending on
mindless, effortless "destiny"
or "fate" as the determining factor of the success or failure of any
relationship. By and large we as a
people have lost our way because we have lost - or outright surrendered - a
significant component of what makes any relationship successful: effort.
The challenge of Love Dare© #14 says
"Love takes (not
"hopes for" or "waits for") delight"; intentionally
and purposefully. In this lesson we are
reminded, as I shared previously, that disciples cannot - and must not -
"follow their own hearts" lest we be proved the "fools"
Scripture says such folks are. We must
not function purely according to instincts or impulses and personal desires, and
certainly not according to our emotional state at any given time. We are called to overcome our own human
"conditioning" borne of a secular environment that too often treats
our Lord and His lessons incidentally rather than purposefully!
In all this we are called to something I
think few of us seriously consider: learning to embrace those things we must do
for the sake of discipleship and
purposefully seek "joy" and find "delight" in these
things. In other words, learn to
appreciate the components of discipleship that only seem redundant and
burdensome and discover them as potential sources of pure joy for the sake of
our relationship with the Lord through His Church and the Covenant - AND with
one another within the Body of Christ.
It is the very same principle in working
on a marriage between husband and wife.
Early in the relationship, everything is easy and exciting because our
emotional cup runneth over! We are
infatuated with every single thing about our spouses, and learning new things
makes it all the more exciting. Young
love is like that. Young, idealistic
love truly believes things will always just "automatically" be that
way because in our happiness, we can imagine no other way - nor should we! Soon, however, reality sets in. What was once "cute" becomes incredibly
"annoying", and what was once so "attractive" may one day seem
downright "repulsive"!
Now some counselors and advisors have
suggested that if that which was once endearing has become irritating, then we
owe it to our spouses and to the relationship to be honest and tell them this
"thing", whatever it may be, is no longer so cute. That way, the reasoning goes, we are
"working" on the relationship, but what are we really
"working" on? The reasoning
can make some sense for the sake of open communication, but is it our spouse
who must change a certain "thing" that was always a part of who they
are, a quality of the person we once could not get enough of? It hardly seems fair to suddenly ask our
spouses to be less than what they have always been - especially when this
"thing", whatever it is, was always a part of what made them so cute
and attractive in the first place!
In such a scenario, it cannot be said
that the couple is "working" on the marriage. The one who brings up the annoying
"thing" that was always there in the first place is the one who is
asking the other to do the "work".
So it is more accurate to say that the one who demands the change may be
the one in need of a serious attitude adjustment because if that
"thing" always existed in our spouse, it clearly is the demanding
spouse who must make the adjustment - because she or he is the only one who is
bothered!
It is consistent not only with the Love
Dare© challenge that says, "Love takes
delight"; it is consistent with the whole Love Dare© premise in which the
burden of effort is upon US - and not the one whom we would wish to change into
something more suitable to our tastes.
We are called to take
the initiative - purposefully - toward finding "delight"! The burden is on US to find and rediscover
why we loved that "thing" in the first place because clearly our
spouse has not changed - WE HAVE. The
"new" wore off, but the very same person we loved in the beginning is
still there with all his or her endearing, cute, delightful, annoying, irritating,
nerve-grating "things"! Surely
we can see that who we loved in the beginning still exists. The one demanding the change must rediscover
- and TAKE back - the "delight" that was always there ... and still
is. We simply must be willing to put
forth the effort and do the
work to seek it out.
It is the very same thing in working on
the relationship we need between ourselves and the Lord through the
Church. It is utterly unfair and
unreasonable - and downright arrogant - for us to come into the historic
Church, find a certain redundancy in the "thing" we once found so
fascinating and fulfilling, and suddenly demand the Church change when in
reality, WE are the ones who changed.
And our demands changed with us.
Once we were not so demanding because we were "in love", but
our cultural conditioning and subsequent reordering of priorities has compelled
us to demand something of the Church the Church is not equipped nor scripturally
called to provide - or exclude. Like the
demanding spouse, we may be demanding something that simply is not there - or
demanding the removal of something that has always been an essential part of its
existence.
Consider the essence of Jesus' teaching
in John's gospel: "whoever
eats Me will live because of Me".
Many disciples who heard this teaching walked away and never
returned. We can give some credit to the
scriptural prohibitions against cannibalism, of course, but the essence of
Torah - that life-giving instruction that is as ageless as the Holy God who
proclaimed it - exists within the teaching.
Jesus put a seemingly contrary and radical spin on the whole thing so in
order to gain from Him all that is required, we are going to have to take from this teaching all that
will certainly give us the "delight" to know; because it's STILL
there - always was and always will be.
We just have to be willing to put forth the effort rather than
"demand" someone else do the necessary work or make the changes.
Understanding such passages as these in
the spirit in which Jesus intends will require real effort, a lot of work, and a little faith (just the faith of
a mustard seed!). I see the effort paying off in Jesus'
proclamation that "no one can come to Me unless it is granted by the Father".
Meaning what? Perhaps meaning that we must prove to our
Holy Father that what is there - what has always been there - will be willingly
and earnestly engaged BY US for the sake of the relationship and NOT
simply taken for granted or used like some cheap "magic trick". In other words, we may need to prove to our
Holy Father that we will not let it simply go to waste - or expect more from it
than we are willing to invest in it.
Like the marriage relationship between husband and wife,
"taking" more than we are willing to "give" only means that
sooner or later all we "take" will soon be depleted ... until there
is no more to "take", nothing more our spouses would be willing to
"give".
The
"dare" of challenge #14 for the sake of restoring or strengthening
the married relationship is this: "Purposefully
neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with
your spouse. Do something he or she
would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together."
The Love Dare© challenge of our faith
for the sake of restoring or strengthening the relationship with the Lord and
His Church is the very same. "Purposefully neglect an activity you
would normally do so you can spend quality time with your [Lord and His
Church]. Do something [the Lord] would
love to do or a project [the Church] would really like to work on. Just be together."
It is "together" in
relationships by which True Life - and True Love - are found; for it is as St.
Peter said: "Where else can we
go? You
have the words of Eternal Life."
AMEN.
No comments:
Post a Comment